 |
| Anti-reproductive Mating Ritual |
Lock up the kids and throw away the key! This is one night
at the movies that’s strictly 'adults only'. Often one of the more popular
attractions at the CFC Worldwide Short Film Festival (i.e. buy your ticket
soon), “Slap 'N’ Tickle” is the programme that celebrates the
sins of the flesh in one quick-n-dirty night of R-rated cinema. This year’s
selection at “Slap N’ Tickle” is a good mix of frank portrayals of sexuality
along with some of the giggly stuff that's sure to tickle your funny boner.
In one night, festivalgoers can enjoy a giant orgy on the big screen with
cougar lesbians, popsicles, electric guitars, puppets, and a chauvinist pig
from Brazil.
Before moving on to the more hardcore/fetish stuff, “Slap 'N’
Tickle” offers some foreplay with a seemingly conventional set-up: blind
dating. In Opposites Attract (Canada, 5 min.) two singles find themselves
on the blind date from hell. Awkward silence turns into idle chit chat, which
turns into caustic gossip, which then turns into hostile bickering, which turns
into… hot sex? This hilarious film by Richard Pierre shows that romance creeps
into the unlikeliest of circumstances and that the rules of courtship advise would-be lovers not be too quick to judge. Remember: the quite reserved
girl could turn out to be the naughty librarian.
 |
| Opposites Attract |
Excuse Me (United States, 6 min.), on the other hand, is a
dramatic Sundance-y type film that sees a couple debate an awkward moment that
may or may not have happened during sex. Whereas the truth proves quite the
fetish for the lovers of Opposites
Attract, Excuse Me shows that
honesty might not be the best policy when it comes to bedroom secrets. Some
things are better left unsaid. The same goes for the Q & A game in Would
You (USA, 7 min.). Dave Franco (21
Jump Street) and Talia Tabin (“Parks and Recreation”) play two friends
who enjoy a night of beers and naughty games. The fantasies of their game of “Would
You Rather” start to come true, though, and teach them that their teenage
dreams might not be as hot as they think they are. Who on earth would want to
sleep with McLovin’?
Growing up receives a different take in One Minute Puberty
(Germany, 2 min.). I caught this smart animated film back at the Ottawa International Animation Festival last year and enjoyed revisiting its trippy,
clever vision of teen angst. Also offering a refreshing take on sexuality is
the candid courtship dance of Anti-reproductive Mating Ritual
(Norway, 6 min.). Featuring two boys on their skateboards wearing nothing but
their tighty whities, Anti-reproductive
Mating Ritual offers the most unique and surprising depiction of sexuality
in “Slap 'N’ Tickle”. An abashed celebration of the male body, the film teases
with innuendo and over-sized popsicles before hitting viewers with a festive
money shot. With its sunny cinematography and languid pace, Anti-reproductive Mating Ritual is a bare, stripped-down film that rejoices in physical attraction and celebrates
the multiplicity of pleasures afforded by our sexuality.
 |
| The Relationship Doctrine of Don Blanquito |
The next film, The Relationship Doctrine of Don Blanquito
(US/Brazil, 7 min.) will have feminists and all progressively minded individuals
cringing in their seats. This documentary by Roger Nygard seems like one of
those accidents that worked out for the better. Nygard’s film begins as a
profile of Brazilian rapper Don Blanquito. To be fair, that is what the
director delivers; however, Nygard seems to have stumbled upon a gold mine of
politically correct humour. Don Blanquito turns out to be an unabashed ladies’
man. He just loves the booty. Not only do his lyrics celebrate the joy of
smacking that ass, but the playa sprouts all sorts of misogynistic
jibber-jabber as he explains his philosophy of non-monogamy and as he shares his love for
the meat market of Rio’s sizzling beaches. Forget intelligence and personality
– when it comes to dating 2012, all a woman needs is a huge rack
and a “basketball butt.” Sexism be damned.
Following the d-bag rapper, “Slap 'N’ Tickle” offers a hot
music video, 030 (Denmark, 3 min.) that gives new meaning to “sex, drugs,
and rock n’ roll.” Afterwards, Cougar Lesbians Go to College (US, 2 min.) sees a pack
of over-the-hill LA lesbians lay out all the prime rules for hunting coeds. It’s
a hilarious mockumentary that offers some advice for those who were taking
notes during Don Blanquito. Rawr!
On the other end of the food chain from Cougars is Cockatoo (Australia, 11
min.), a live-action short about getting over that special someone. Michael (Alan
Dukes) is having some trouble forgetting the six-month anniversary of a
break-up. He decides to hire a role-playing therapist (not an escort) to offer
a placebo for his former lover so that he can channel out his grief and find
closure. The only problem is that this therapist just can’t seem to get his
ex’s accent right. Very funny and extremely awkward, Cockatoo shows the importance of letting go of the past and of
getting that certain someone out of your head. Moving on is hard, but
necessary.
 |
| Tempest in a Bedroom |
The next short, Tempest in a Bedroom (Tempête dans une
chambre à coucher) (France, 11 min.), offers all sorts of freaky
situations that require a good therapist. A couple of puppets try to rejuvenate
their sex life by watching porn, role playing, and going away for a dirty
weekend. With the help of a kinky maid and an eager plumber, though, these
puppets free themselves from the restraint of their strings. If you thought the
soixante-neuf of Team America: World Police was naughty, Tempest in a Bedroom takes puppet sex to a whole new level. The
lovers in the programme’s last short, I’m Your Man (France, 15 min.), might
have benefited from the extra flexibility of the puppets in Tempest. (They can really move without
their strings!) Bruno (Vincent Macaigne) is moving out to get over his ex. By
some turn of events, he finds his way back into her. Literally. Actually.
Graphically. A truly physical comedy, I’m
Your Man is a great sex farce about a couple that can’t seem to break
apart. Mixing sex with love, I’m Your Man
provides a real happy ending to “Slap 'N’ Tickle”: it will have viewers
squirming in their seats, but holding hands on the walk home.
“Slap N’ Tickle”
screens at the Bloor Hot Docs Cinema on Thursday, June 7 at 10:15 p.m.
Please visit www.shorterisbetter.com for tickets,
program/film info, and show times.
(And click here for updates & reviews of this year's Worldwide Short Film Festival.)
(And click here for updates & reviews of this year's Worldwide Short Film Festival.)
