Liz & Dick
(USA, 88 min.)
Dir. Lloyd Kramer, Writ. Christopher Monger.
Starring: Lindsay Lohan, Grant Bowler, David Hunt.
To quote Liz Taylor, “I'm bored, I'm so bored!” If Lindsay
Lohan had any aspirations to make a comeback and prove herself a credible
actress, then Liz & Dick was a terrible choice of project. The
role of Elizabeth Taylor is a risky and challenging rule to be sure. The movie
star of movie stars, Elizabeth Taylor was glitz and glamour, but she was also
one hell of an actress. It’s the role of a lifetime, really, in the hands of a
capable performer. (Lohan doesn't look a thing like Miss Taylor, either, but
she could be a dead ringer for Sharon Stone.) It’s not that Lohan stumbles in
doing justice to Taylor’s legacy—and rest assured, she does—it’s that the
chance to play the great star unfortunately reveals what a terrible actress Lohan
actually is.
There is simply no dramatic range to be found anywhere in Liz & Dick, even though Taylor's tumultuous
life was as wide ranging as they came. This biopic is tragic, but not in the
Shakespearean sense. Lohan’s flat performance is well matched by the shallow
and sappy script, which says nothing of Taylor's achievements in humanitarian work nor does justice to her dramatic success, but instead focuses on diva histrionics via the love story between Taylor and Richard
Burton. Grant Bowler isn’t terrible as Burton, but few actors could have
improved the thin material. The film employs a bizarre mock-interview session
that sees Liz and Dick gab and squabble about their affair in retrospect. Unflattering
lighting and a cheesy generic score complement the poor drama, as do awkward
transitions between hotel bedrooms and green screen renditions of exotic
locales. Liz & Dick is so bad that the phrase 'Lifetime
Movie of the Week' cannot be used as a simile to convey how low the film ranks
on the biopic scale. Liz & Dick
proves that the cable station’s TV flicks are indeed bad as we have ridiculed
them to be, as Liz makes the pedestrian
My Week with Marilyn look like a
varnished masterpiece by comparison.
In fairness to Lohan, though, her turn as Liz is, in truth,
her best dramatic work since 2007's I
Know Who Killed Me. Lohan, moreover, is not completely miscast as Taylor
since the tragic wreck of her own life echoes comically throughout Liz & Dick and greatly enhances the film experience. Liz & Dick encourages
a peanut gallery of inappropriate jokes about alcoholism, celebrity scandal,
public guffaws, and dramatic ineptitude. Each time Liz stumbles, film clubs should cheer and knock back a drink. If
anything, Liz & Dick immortalizes Lohan in the annals of
cult movie turkeys. It might even bring similarly deserved kudos if the Razzies
decide to make a special exception and honor the 'berry worst’ in TV movies
this year. What great star will Hollywood defile next?!
Rating: ★ (out of ★★★★★)
Liz & Dick enjoys an encore presentation on Lifetime tonight at
8pm.